I am positive I quoted my guru Otho who said Sadness is like kale salad. Im not going anywhere! Leave this house! You both get em. ), BARBARA: MAITLANDS 2.0! JUNO: Anyone whose ever died is in there. Beetlejuice is a stage musical with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect and book by Scott Brown and Anthony King. I know, theres still so much I wanted to do. CHARLES: That demon with the stupid hair, hell be waiting for us. CHARLES: Hey! You are dead? Mom was the ghost of Edgar Allan Poe! LYDIA: I dont want your help. Thats why youre stuck in the attic! Guy talk howd you do it? ALL: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY! Now, go on girl, get out of here, you know youre free, go on, get out of here. (giggle) Just kidding! Shade Maternal, Fate Infernal. Now, we dont have a lot of time. This is so wrong, your my employee, but also my lover! ADAM: Well that wasnt very nice. Alright. ADAM: Hang on. BARBARA: Lydia, no, you don't know what will happen. . We take all these adult recreational classes, you know, ballroom dancing, backyard composting, ADAM: We just took this amazing glass blowing class. Barbara! BARBARA: I think so! Please, forgive me! LYDIA: Wow, this is going to be such an interesting night! BARBARA: You cant make every wall an accent wall! ADAM: I dont mean her, I mean her family. Make them think that theyre in control! IS SIMPLY A MANIFESTATION OF MOTHERLY PANIC, AREN'T YOU CREATING A WAY OF TRANSLATING THE TERROR, HIDING AWAY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE BEING A BAD MOM, ADAM AND BARBARA: SOON ENOUGH, OUR HOPES AND OUR DREAMS WILL BE CRUSHED. She's now taking to TikTok to spread [] GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD. Mmmmmm, yes! Lets save Lydia and get the hell out of here. BEETLEJUICE: Why do you gotta be so hard on me, Mom? ADAM: So he sent little Howard the third, and long story short, I got the last bottle of Manchurian Tung oil! New York, NY, Ages 12-17: Camp Broadway Ensemble @ Carnegie Hall (softly.) First time haunting your own genuine haunted house, and youre a natural. Oh father dear! Sayonara. (a beat.) LYDIA: WAY BACK WHEN I WAS JUST TEN SIMPLE AND SWEET, EVERYWHERE, FELLAS WOULD STARE OUT ON THE STREET, LYDIA: NOW ONE OF 'EM LOVES ME, WANTS TO BE MINE, LYDIA: MY CREEPY OLD GUY, MY CREEPY OLD GUY, BARBARA/DELIA: GIRLS MAY SEEM DISGUSTED, BUT WE'RE ACTUALLY JUST SHY, BEETLEJUICE: I AM OLDER, BUT I'M GLAD I WAITED, ALL: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY. You know what would make all this even more awesome? "Beetlejuice made 'weird' look cool. BARBARA: SURE, THE GROOM CRAWLED OUT OF A TOMB, BARBARA/DELIA: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, I WANNA SEE A TEAR IN EVERY EYE AS I PASS BY, I KNOW THAT ON THE OUTSIDE HE'S DISGUSTING, BUT I KNOW THAT THIS TIME, I'M MAKIN' IT RIGHT, ALL: HERE COMES THE BRIDE HERE COMES THE BRIDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE SOME CULTURES THINK THIS KIND OF THING'S ALRIGHT, LYDIA: MY CREEPY OLD GUY MY CREEPY OLD GUY. CHARLES: Damnit! BEETLEJUICE: AHH YOU FOOLED ME WITH LOVE! Once Im dead, my dad will be sorry! ADAM: You know, hate is a very strong word. Because of her, I got to live, briefly, very briefly, and can I just say something? Oh, Adam, were just getting started! Tagged: Whorehouse, Anxious. Whos there? Hi, boys! ADAM: Oh yeah? Except her. Demon's Dance. We cant hide this anymore. DELIA: Oh! We left each other behind. LYDIA: Dad! "Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.". The two of you need to hire me right now. I, myself, am strange and unusual." -Lydia Deetz. BEETLEJUICE: WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE 'EM GO CRAZY, 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT SOME EVIL DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOU, YOU'VE GOTTA WORK GOTTA HAUNT TILL IT HURTS THROUGH THE NIGHT, AND GIVE THOSE GUYS THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES. And then mom said, Lets clean up. And she made us sing that song she always loved. BEETLEJUICE Finished? BEETLEJUICE: Oh, nope, thats the wrong card. So goodbye . The Preacher, Beetlejuice, and Lydia. And breathers worry so much about their stupid little lives, most of them never notice anything strange or unusual unless you make them. BEETLEJUICE: So. . You dont recognize me? Based on the 1988 film starring Michael Keaton, the musical tells the story of Lydia Deetz, an offbeat teenager whose life changes when her family moves into a home inhabited by a recently . ), THEY'LL NEVER GET THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES. BEETLEJUICE: I wanted to help you guys, its literally all I wanted, but the two of you are helpless. BEETLEJUICE: Whered I lose you? Second row, right there! Parts. Its less. Now you remember what my guru Otho says! BEETLEJUICE: Babs, I get it, I totally get it, but the two of you are special. TELL MY STORYY! (a beat.) (a beat.) DELIA: Knock Knock! Not gonna do that. Its like a nursing home for sad cats. LYDIA: I dont have a lot of friends so, if I have to live in this stupid house, at least I know Ill have you guys in the attic. **Beetlejuice: The Musical has ended its Broadway run, but is currently touring nationally. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . Everything was the way it used to be. We want to help you! I will, I just, OKAY FINE I WILL. CHARLES: Wouldnt even know where to start. And he gave me this. New meat! CENSUS AGENT: Hello, I'm with the U.S. Census Bureau, got time for a few, OH MY GOD! Lets find out! What does that mean? I'LL MAKE THE BEST OF BEING FLESH AND BONE, BEETLEJUICE: Thats right! ADAM: Kill?!??!? We did kill someone though. Thats why Im doing this. CHARLES: You made it big. Beetlejuice will play its first show on Friday, April 8, 2022, it was announced Monday. Now I just need to convince Maxie Dean. howd you get her to marry you? ), THEY GOTTA GET THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES (WE'RE SCARY, VERY VERY SCARY! You old swaddler! Do you want some lunch? LYDIA: I dont know. WHY DO YOU POLISH YOUR CRIB WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A KID? Maybe, we can help each other! Lets say we are dead thats bad, obviously, but hey, maybe! And such a bold departure from the original source material! Take care of them. Can I bring her back? Hey Lydia, check this out Dance break! Well, we can take care of that. Beetlejuice truly hits me in a special part of my heart. Oh my god! And speaking of, right on time! Dont you get it? ", AND SHE'LL BE LIKE "OH, NOTHIN' JUST RUNNING THE WORLD.". Shes a demon, and she doesnt get me. It's just like you said, you dont always get it, but youre a part of it. BEETLEJUICE: I am not Wiccan, and that is nothing like this. (snaps photo.) I guess Ill just go. (goes to kiss him, but gags.). Woah, sorry, I didnt mean to yell its justYou make daddy so angry. LYDIA: I cant change anything! The main Characters of Beetlejuice: The Musical appear in a room and are given the chance to watch a musical all about themselves ~ I own nothing ~ Completed . She needs stability. Don't apologize! LYDIA: Hey Beetlejuice! I'M GONNA MAKE HIM SAY MY NAME, I'LL MAKE HIM SAY MY NAME (MAKE HIM SAY YOUR NAME). All I want is for someone, anyone to look my way and say Hey. Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. I relate to it in so many ways, especially in Lydia's journey through grief. ADAM: I didnt think it was that weak! BARBARA: So, now what? Barbara, this is our stuff BARBARA: A SHRINE TO THE FEELINGS WE'VE BEEN REPRESSING, BARBARA: UNFINISHED PROJECTS MEANINGLESS OBJECTS. April 25, 2019. This iteration of Scott Brown and Anthony King's musical, with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect, is otherwise nearly identical and keeps all the musical's hit songs intact, including the viral hit "Say My Name" and the Harry Belafonte classic "Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)." In the show, the titular Beetlejuice is a demon who's stuck haunting a . Look, I know things have been difficult-. The musical premiered at the National Theatre, Washington, D.C. in October 2018, prior to opening on Broadway at the Winter Garden Theatre on April 25, 2019. MISS ARGENTINA: THIS IS THE NETHERWORLD! BEETLEJUICE: That is a sandworm. LYDIA: Im not going back! DELIA: I dont think thats how knock knock jokes work. CHARLES: A BEAUTIFUL BUNCH OF RIPE BANANA, ALL: LIFT SIX FOOT, SEVEN FOOT, EIGHT FOOT BUNCH, CHARLES: Maxie! The Netherworld. And he's to blame. And that makes me feel oh god, I actually feel! Uh, maybe I should answer for her, okay? ADAM: Oh god! Do you understand what Im proposing? But you wanted your mommy. Im gonna need some help! But we just have to hold onto each other and live through it. I thought she was talking about us. Sucks-Yes! BEETLEJUICE: Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes, please say yes. LYDIA: Oh. BEETLEJUICE: YouareADORABLE (kisses Adam) HA! . (ADAM and BARBARA scream as BARBARAs hand is on fire.). ADAM: The electoral college! DELIA/OTHO: Life is life. Your father was trying to hide you from us. In a haunted house, all alone! Delia! Join StageAgent today and unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. Unless, are you horribly disfigured? So! having plummeted off the Winter River Bridge. Move forward. BEETLEJUICE: DID I SAY NETHERWORLD? Uh, hey! Its not a real marriage. BARBARA: Im sorry, why are we in the attic? BEETLEJUICE: Quick! DELIA: Its like my guru Otho always says, If you dont take a chance, you dont have a chance, because you didnt take it!. I changed a lot. Every single time I finally feel like I start to belong, its Goodbye Delia Youre out of the band Delia Vishnu doesnt need more disciples Delia!. Welcome to the family, son. LYDIA: I have a mother! Mom!! NEVER MIND, HE'LL BE YOUR G-U-I-D-E TO THE OTHER SIDE, I'M THE B-TO-THE-DOUBLE-E-T-L-E TO THE J-U-I-C-E, BEETLEJUICE: I understand it's a lot to process, but, THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE DIED IN YOUR OWN HOUSE, THAT MEANS THE TWO OF YOU SHOULD STICK AROUND, A LITTLE ON THE POTTERY BARN AND DRY WHITE WINE SIDE, AS FOR ME, I'VE BEEN SCARING FOR MILLENNIA, I'M THE BIO-EXORCIST GIVING HOUSES ENEMAS, BEETLEJUICE AND ENSEMBLE: PUSH OUT ALL THE BREATHERS, BEETLEJUICE: AND I DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF IT, 'CAUSE THIS GUY HAPPENED TO BE PASSING BY, TO GIVE YOU CONTROL OF YOUR SOUL FOR THE WHOLE "BEING DEAD" THING (AH AH AH AH AH AH AH! BARBARA Oh, honey. Act I 1. More about Lydia . My dad never wants me to talk about her. Im Barbara, this is Adam. ADAM: CHEFS WHO USE TOO MUCH SAGE WHEN THEY MAKE BEURRE NOISETTE, BEETLEJUICE: WELL, THERE'S LOTS THERE TO USE, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GIVE ME YOUR BEST PRIMAL SCREAM, BEETLEJUICE: TRY IT AGAIN MAYBE THIS TIME PRETEND LIKE YOU MEAN IT. Welcome! Its about love! LYDIA: What's goin' on, Delia? CHARLES: Lydia, I have asked Delia to marry me. We couldve been such a great team. Lift with your back! OTHO: Its Kevin! Beetle..(bj covers her mouth) BJ: She's a little nervous. I brought you a pie?! And Im not gonna let you take it from her! GIRL SCOUT: THIS IS IT THE DAY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR, WISHING, HOPING, WORKING, AND PRAYING FOR, THE DAY MY PARENTS HAVE BEEN DELAYING FOR YEARS, IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT THAT THEY'RE OVERPROTECTIVE, I WAS BORN WITH ARRHYTHMIA MY HEART IS DEFECTIVE, ONLY TAKES ONE SHOCK AND I COULD BE DEAD FROM THE FEAR, THE GIRL SCOUTS HELPED MY HEART GROW STRONG, THEY'D HAVE MY BACK IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG WITH ME, DISTRACT ME FROM THE FACT THAT MY HEART COULD STOP. Its time for Americas favorite game show! Except, this one year we tried to do a classic horror theme. Where do books go when they die? Well, I dont know, book. We mostly just watched and drank wine. *Our system only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if we have matching monologues and song information in our database. CHARLES: Where is the shrimp? He is so mean to me! BEETLEJUICE: Oh, Babs, I would LOVE that. DELIA: Lydia, look, I know that youre upset, but maybe this is meant to be. Teeter played the role of Lydia in the hit musical, and her performance was nothing short of amazing. Youre leaving me? But honey, whatever it is you think youre looking for, youre not gonna find it. Draw a door, go home! Yeah Yeah Yeah. I have been waiting for so long for you people to die, and now youre here and I just think were going to make such a great team, dont you? CHARLES: Maxie! Stupid sheet!, (Ad lib.). LYDIA: Perhaps thats because I myself, am strange and unusual. I hope theres a dead therapist somewhere that can give him the help he needs. Do you remember what I said? And she left us. Cuz, shed love this! BEETLEJUICE: DON'T YOU WANNA SEE DAD SUFFER? I had it open for a second but the Maitlands slammed it shut. OH! In Michael McDowell's script, the adorable Maitlands' death scene is quite graphic and traumatic they get trapped in a car and scream to no avail as they're shown slowly drowning. BEETLEJUICE: Thats it! ADAM: Okay, that Wasn't as much fun as I thought it'd be ADAM: We are not kombucha people. Like these weirdos. LYDIA: I had a change of heart. AND Im from New Jersey! (doorbell rings.) DELIA: Otho, I noticed that the Soulbox is both glowing and making a noise. DELIA: SHE IS A HURRICANE IN ALL KINDS OF WEATHER, LYDIA: MAMA IF YOU'RE LISTENING, DOESN'T THIS BLOW YOUR MIND, BUT SEEK A LITTLE STRANGER THAN USUAL AND YOU WILL FIND. BEETLEJUICE: No, she did! So mean. CHARLES: My god, woman. What if Lydias in my head right now? I accept you. Lets get you finished! COMPANY: GOD, I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR A SHOW ABOUT DEATH! Ill do it. And they eat ghosts. OTHO: Thats the one. I know that my name's on the marquee, but youre going to have to watch a new show. But I swear to you, we will. Dont, DONT text me in the middle of the night saying U up? because guess what? Basically it follows the plot of Beetlejuice the Musical, but Lydia's twin friends, Lily and David come to try and help their friend through this trying time. Lydia. These are the biggest changes that . Life is a goddamn roller coaster, I dont know how you people do that. DELIA: Lydia, you cannot just sneak up on people and take their essence. Ooh, ooh, somebody's at the door; alright, Let's make some more people scream! Classic Bait and Switch. We did find that out. Unless I am paid upfront in cash, and learned that the hard way. ADAM: Oh! People dont read. And that is exactly how we can beat him. Devoted wife to Charles, beloved mother to Lydia. Normally, I perform exorcisms por bono, but you made me come to Connecticut. Im sorry I just couldnt help myself. BEETLEJUICE: Wait, wait, wait COME ON! But, its true, I was kicked in the head by a dressage horse. I was like, Pick a lane, Bill!. People! Yes, I love that man of mine. And here we are sneaking around like two teenagers at a church picnic. CHARLES: You think this is what I want? All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. Lydia, you are so weird. Youre all going to die. BEETLEJUICE: Im tired of being alone! Did I hear the dinner bell? this hilarious musical tells the story of lydia deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing . A little nervous my lover make him say my NAME ( make him say your NAME.! Bone, beetlejuice: I wanted to do a classic horror theme GOODBYE WORLD... Best of BEING FLESH and BONE, beetlejuice: wait, wait come on: OLD. 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