"He woke up without nipples!" The rep confirmed one more time that my procedureTop surgery? These protocols are crucial, and most insurance providers do follow them. I didnt expect to feel terrifyingly lonely. Dont you feel great, now that youve finally had your surgery? I felt like if I told them how difficult of a time I was having, Id be undermining my identity as a trans person. Instead, it is just assumed that someone is trans and trying to get that person to be happy with who they are is considered conversion therapy. Also, if it helps, I got top surgery knowing I'd want to wear bras/breast forms sometimes! A Comparison of Gender-Affirming Chest Surgery in Nonbinary Versus Transmasculine Patients. Even if one learns to recognize the distortion and its effects, it remains a struggle to accurately view ones own body. The gore and the pain and sadness were not what I had expected. But instead, I was lightheaded and in pain, and removing the pressure of the bandages made it hurt worse. Transfeminine, or male-to-nonbinary, top surgery usually involves having breast implants. 2. She glanced over my body and told me that I would look great. It's also important to do intensive research into insurance and other financial options for your top surgery. I had no idea how bad it was going to be. I learn something new every daydid not require 12 continuous months of hormone therapy to qualify for insurance coverage. If youd like to contribute a text or video piece to the HuffPosts Journey Beyond The Binary series, email us at beyondbinary@huffingtonpost.com! As a survivor of both cancer and accidental dismemberment (necessary mastectomy; + left a finger on a fence years ago) I understand viscerally the grief and loss that can accompany a permanent change in the body. Small studies suggest that breast removal surgery improves transgender teenagers' well-being, but data is sparse. When I am aware of my breasts when I jog, walk down stairs, or wash them, I have an intense, physical reaction. "Some people who identify as nonbinary dont necessarily want a mastectomy and a masculinized chest. No matter their gender identity, all top surgery patients should perform regular breast and chest self-exams before and after surgery. Who are you after all this? Non-binary individuals may identify as genderqueer, agender (without gender), bigender, or more. 2023 Cond Nast. If you need help purchasing a product directly from Allure, go to our FAQ. In 2015, my partner gave me a greeting card that I still treasure that said, Happy birthday to my wonderful boyfriend. And during the summer of 2018, I was getting ready to experience another of those big moments: seeing my new chest for the first time after undergoing top surgery. Many other members of the forum came out of the woodwork to agree. I think if you havent experienced it, its hard to convey the feeling. Courtney is pictured . None of these terms mean exactly the same thing . Without recommendations, it can be very helpful to use surgical consultations as a way to interview prospective surgeons and determine whether they are the right fit for you. Subcommittees also discussed House Study Bill 208 and Senate File 335 Tuesday, which would prohibit people from using school bathrooms or locker rooms not corresponding with their biological sex. and post-surgery appointments. I set off to write my own explanations to these essential questions. Gender dysphoria is not the same as body dysmorphia. the surgery relieved a lot of my chest . Similarly, if you have a therapist or general practitioner you trust, ask them for referrals. But what a smart move to have a gaggle of oblivious customer service reps as your vanguard to (expensive) inquiring minds. All rights reserved. Ive lived as both genders, neither fit me, so Id say I have enough experience to be able to call myself nonbinary. The expected range of cost, for instance, is quite a gap to consider: In both the U.S. and Canada, top surgeries run anywhere between $3,500 to $10,000 USD, depending on ones insurance coverageor lack thereof. I was on orders to wear my ace bandages full time for six weeks, but I felt worried I would never want to take them off. But, as far as my insurance provider was concerned, I am undergoing a FTM procedure. I dont know why the gender nonconforming affirmation surgical designation doesnt exist, much like how gender nonconforming is a sort of afterthought even with WPATHs protocols. I had two opposing experts telling me yes, I would and no, I would not. What my insurer gave me, however, was absolute confusion. Commonly used to treat or prevent cancer, mastectomy refers to the removal of breast tissue. and our Here are a few of the responses I received from insurance reps either over the phone or by email: It took me awhile to realize that the insurance reps ignorance did not mean intractability on their companys part. Reconstructive chest surgery, commonly referred to as 'top surgery' is typically sought by trans people who were presumed female at birth (), including men and non-binary people, to remove breast tissue and sculpt the chest into a pectoral form.While binding is an effective form of flattening chest tissue, it can cause pain, and respiratory and skin complications when used inappropriately . As I feared, at the end of my recovery period, I wasnt quite ready to shed the comfort of my ace bandages. A friend once noticed the tape and asked me about it. Due to pathologization and mistreatment by mental health professionals, transgender people are often reluctant to engage with mental health providers. Now, a year later, the memories of how difficult dealing with my chest used to be are becoming more distant. Getting direct support to find the right doctor may make the process less stressful. [Top surgery] is truly a life-saving intervention. With Double Incision Top Surgery, you can ask your surgeon to not perform the NAC reconstruction, resulting in a smooth, nipple-free chest. I am also, as someone who wants to be the best trans ally I can be, grateful for your first hand account of your feelings. Ive done my best to make peace with my breasts. The answer Tosh knew existed. My mom has always been so accepting of me, once we got through the first few months of turmoil over losing her only daughter. Top surgery can improve physical and psychological health and wellbeing outcomes for those who seek it. The mental health benefits of top surgery, especially when performed by a knowledgeable, affirming doctor, are unquestionably positive. This type of surgery accomplishes three things: changing the shape and size of the chest's skin envelope, altering the location of the nipple or areola, and removing breast tissue. But the surgery itself was also a hard experience that was made even harder because I wasnt prepared for it. "When you do things beautifully, the body agrees. It truly troubles me to see what is happening to young women today. "Nipples are part of the normal human anatomy and I am . I'm so sorry to hear this! So: this was hard. Transgender people face a lifetime of suffering, which is exacerbated by the traumas associated with living in a world that is invalidating, dismissive, and even dehumanizing. We live in a society where trans people have to beg for respect. What I needed now was a definitive answer from my insurance company. I told myself I was being liberated, but really it felt like I was stacking the bricks to my own prison walls. There are agencies out there that help with that part, too. In the end, it all comes down to investigating and self-advocating. These same . Altogether, getting top surgery can take years, even for adults. With a total mastectomy, all the breast tissue is removed, from the latissimus, to the armpit's inframammary fold, all the way up to the clavicle, according to Tina Jenq, a board-certified plastic surgeon at the Oregon Cosmetic and Reconstructive Clinic. I was convinced my life had been ruined. So, I called my insurance company one more time. Rihanna Channeled Tina Turner With Massive Hair and Smoky Eyes, Madonna Shared a Photo of Her Face Now That the "Swelling From Surgery Has Gone Down". A gender therapist will be able to write a letter explaining that your surgery is medically necessary so that you can potentially get at least part of your top surgery covered by insurance. If your chest size is small, you might be able to have surgery that spares your skin, nipple and areola. Edit: I deleted a line joking that I would be playing Tennis 2 weeks after top surgery. If I hadnt gotten top i feel as though Id be more androgynous, as everyone sees me very much as a masculine man. It was a joke, but Im worried it didnt come across correctly and dont want to misrepresent my surgeon. It is possible for non-binary, gender queer patients to get top surgery in abroad. Statistics vary on the numbers of people who regret having surgery to change from male to female or vice versa. The answers are there; go find them. I identify as non binary. In fact, I hated taking them off even to change them it was. Sensation returns more easily. Part of HuffPost Personal. But the scars remain. Non-binary people can have breasts, and I know plenty who happily do. Like a lot of health-related transgender issues, there is not enough information on how often individuals report post-surgery regret, though stories are becoming more and more common.However, some doctors have reported that patients are returning to them in the months or years following their surgeries, asking to have as much reversed as possible. Reality, and Grief. That was my go-to excuse whenever my secretthe breast bindingwas discovered: Oh, its nothing, Id respond as casually as possible. Top surgery scars: For chest masculinization procedures, scars may appear as horizontal lines across . I am not a guide, I have no special wisdom, but I come to you humbled, scarred, and holding out my hand. I tried to be excited about them, dress them up, and take care of them. Thats what many folks whove undergone the surgery with insurance have reported. 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