And that! Kyle?! 0. Mark Elliott: The third and final chapter of the emotional trilogy. It was a little oldcricket bug. Being British, I wouldhave preferred sherry. A very enthusiastic--. Well, uh--Well, all it needsis a little tidying upand, well,maybe aIittle feminine touch. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the lovably dorky host of americas funniest home. You know, I mean, one of those--. But then the mother goes, "Please, sir, if you just give us two minutes, we know you'll like our act." O'Malley: Oh, how sweet. Naturellement! Hugo: Way to go, lover boy! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh! Roquefort: That's it! Georges Hautecourt: Am I going too fast for you, Edgar? I've never seen you three here before. O'Malley needs help! Mark Elliott: And take part in the wedding of the century. So if you would be just so kind. Thieves: [singing] Scheming up a scam, out on a limb. Hurry, hurry! Very good. Where are you? Huh? Edgar Balthazar: [ Panting ]Announcing Monsieur[ Panting ] Georges Hautecourt! Berlioz:Hooray, we're home! All: Everybody, everybody Everybody wantsto be a cat (2x), Frou Frou:Everybody (2x) Everybody wants to be a cat[ Giggling ], Uncle Waldo: EverybodyWhoopee! Now, now, my darlings. The I'm outta here! Mysterious Cat-napperAbducts Family of Cats." [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, silent clips of "Aladdin" and "Aladdin 2" are shown]. Girls! "The "Aristocrats. Alright? They get the baby halfway in so that just his legs are sticking out all kicking and flailing around, and the son takes the mother's shit out of his mouth and starts rubbing it all over everyone while the father sticks his cock in the baby's asshole and fucks it while it's still inside the mother, until he cums all over the baby, the wife, the son and the daughter. Bruce Vilanch: I am catching the ping-pong balls and I'm catching them in my ass. When you lift something it better be a cock. [offscreen]Duchess and the kittensare in trouble! [Metro TrainWhistle Blowing] Oh no, train! SMASH FLIX. We chased four motorcarsand a bicycle and a scooter. Duchess: Thomas, this is Ameliaand Abigail Gabble. And I think this young manis very handsome. Sam:[offscreen]Well, Mac, this must be the trunk, eh? Which pets are proneto hardly any flaws? Why, that's terrible! Georges Hautecourt: Now, then, madame, who arethe beneficiaries? Only for those aged 17 and older. Andy Dick: I come out, dressed as Hitler in crotchless panties. The horse hits Edgar with her back legs and he flies into the trunk. [offscreen]Gethim, get him, get him, get him! Sir? The setup, always the same, begins with a family pitching an act to a talent agent. Children, where are you? Oh, I meanyour pad. And I'm gonna shine my shoes with my vagina juices, put 'em back on, tap-tap-tap, do a split, and that's the act! [The movie logo appears] "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh". Duchess: Oh, thank goodness. O'Malley:[offscreen]That was justa lucky break for me, baby. Duchess: [Laughing]Oh, darling. Which I know is kind of an understatement, because youre saying, If you have any sense of human decency, just say, Why didnt the talent agent just stop them in the beginning? The father bends the kid over the guy's desk and starts taking him from behind, which isn't right. Napoleon: 'Cause I outrank you,that's why. [Gasping][Laughing] It's only a tree. A little lowerand faster there, buddy. [Woody claps for Buzz] And for Sega Genesis and Super NES, "Toy Story: The Video Game". Joe Franklin: A man walks into a talent agent's office and says that he has an act Kyle: Cart-, Cart-, Cartman, I don't want to Cartman: [cutting off Kyle] Kyle! Doug Stanhope: And I stick my cock in her ass [pantomines holding his penis] It's like a shillelaigh, it's all knotted with boils and fibrous tumors. Sarah Silverman: Joe Franklin loved The Aristocrats. I'm afraid it was justthe imagination of an old lady. "The Aristocrats Quotes." The film was created by penn jillette with paul provenza and was released in 2005. Roquefort:[ Panting ] Mr.O'Malley, I've heard your name. I'm tryin'to get to shore. Darling, why, that--Why, that's ridiculous. Comics Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette are in the fall-over-laughing camp. Napoleon: I'm the leader. Roquefort: Oh, please! Amelia: Oh, yes, I thinkwe'd better be going. Duchess:Oh, no, no. Groove it, cat! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: You're a shamelessflatterer, Georges. I only wish that l--. You knowthe kids are bushed. [offscreen]They're gone. It's like Curly in the Stooges. Uncle Waldo: Girls, it's outrageous! WebThe Aristocrats is a terminal movie. Duchess:Berlioz, come back here. Toulouse: Gee whiz! Marie: Oh! "Saranora," and allthose goodbye things, baby. [A cat drops a bale of hay onto Edgar. 4:39. It was my favorite role. You're comin' on. Duchess: Now, now, darlings. Come on. Roquefort:It's notreally hard, Berlioz. You don't know whether to sh*t or puke in this room. Roquefort: Oh, it's a sad dayfor all of us. Toulouse:[offscreen]I told ya it was Edgar. O'Malley: Lay some skin on me,Scat Cat. Oh! Why, there are a millionreasons why I should! Mark Elliott: With it's all-new 37th animated motion picture! Mark Elliott: Outside was a world he had only dreamed about. Which pets get to sleep on velvet mats? I am really in a great deal of trouble. Billy Boss: Ha-ha! That feels good,Lafayette. Would you agree with that? They're too cutesy." Napoleon: Hush your mouth! They get the- towait. Ooh. He tries to shut it, but the alley cats attack]. Portions of this script are copyrighted by walt disney company and are used without permission. Berlioz: Oh, boy! George carlin shares his version of the aristocrats joke. Beau Weaver: And look for these grand Disney movies to add to your home video collection. [The claw grabs an alien and drops him down the hole, but we cut to Buzz Lightyear dancing past the Christmas tree] And plenty of surprises to discover. because in a joke that's what happens. I'll be right back, y'all. [The movie logo appears one last time] "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh". They're the one's who rescued you from drowning. Lafayette: Napoleon, I'm plumbgoose-pimply scared! Here we go. How could I forget him? I-l mean-- Well,I don't mean to interrupt. Thieves! I've made the headlines." Duchess: Oh, I'm delightedto meet you, Monsieur Scat Cat. Duchess: Now, Marie, let's leaveToulouse to his painting. I mean and waiting waiting for the death penalty! But, knows where what's at? Get her! The aristocrats is a terminal movie. And come to think of it, O'Malley,you're not a cat, you're a rat. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the aristocrats. Voice-over: Buzz Lightyear to the rescue! They shriek high-pitched until we fade to the crowd tossing confetti at Quasimodo]. Release date Okay. Marie: Come on, guys, lets all start meowing. Duchess: Now, now, darlings. (outloud)Of course you can. Oh! But that's a whole other story. Billy: No, but the rest is kind of hard to believe. [Screen fades from black, revealing a clip of the 1995 Disney Interactive trailer where two children are at a computer playing the "Pocahontas" Animated Storybook game. I've had all the help I can take. It relates the story of a family trying to Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Marie, my little one,you're going to be as beautifulas your mother. Shall we keep himin the family? I've just gotto find them. Roquefort: Not a sign of them, Frou-Frou,and I've searched all night. Why? Duchess: Le Petit Cafe? - What? Duchess: Marie, darling. Both of you, go ahead. In all our days,in tender ways,her love for uswas shown. I know it's Georges. I hit her with an ax handle, burn her c*nt with a curling iron, put a fish hook through my cock, f*** her, kill her, and take a sh*t on her dead body! All right. Scat Cat tosses a bucket of water over Edgar's head. Duchess:[offscreen]And, wham, when weneeded you, you were right there. Marie: I'll show youif I'm a lady or not. So the piano player starts to play. John Leader: He created a motion picture based on a story that held a special place in his heart. ln trouble! Uncle Waldo: [Screaming]Abigail! O'Malley: So I got a few to spare. Oh, please! Marie: Mama,l guess I had a nightmareand fell out of bed. Phoebus: She's very lucky to have a friend like you. Peppo:Oh, we didn't mean-a to,to rough a-you, squeaky! Web. Amelia: Uncle Waldo. Title of infamous joke without a punchline. And the talent agent goes, So what kind of act do you do? The father starts taking his shirt and jacket off. This article is about the offensive joke known as "The Aristocrats". Gilbert Gottfried: And then the talent agent says, "That's awful. Dana Gould: It's the perfect joke. I guess youcan't win 'em all. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:That's exactlywhat they are, Georges. Duchess: [Sighing] I understand perfectly,Monsieur O'Malley, sir. Millions. So the talent agent says, "All right, you've got two minutes." Portions of this script are copyrighted by walt disney company and are used without permission. This is the second theatrical appearance of South Park. Evening, Edgar. Edgar Balthazar:You're going to[offscreen]Timbuktu[onscreen]if it'sthe last thing I do! Come on, guys. . Where are you? [Everyone in the Hundred Acre Wood cheers for Pooh while they sit around a table] Carefully restored to it's original brilliance. O'Malley pushes the pitchfork off with his hind feet, freeing himself. ", George Carlin: The joke leads me down one path and then it switches the path on me suddenly and hits me with a hammer. A family walks in to a talent agency. Duchess: Good evening,Monsieur Roquefort. O'Malley: Well, uh, you seeI-l'm not exactlyher husband. [winks]Right off the cuff, yeah. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh, it's no use, Edgar. The aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughing] Oh, Berlioz. O'Malley:Well, if you're applyingfor the job, well--. You remember him,of course. Whew! Sounds like a gangof swinging hep cats. They're gone! Copyright 2023 Penske Business Media, LLC. [sings] A guy so swell. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. WebThe Aristocrats "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up Buzz's suit glows a bright green light]. [Offscreen]Good riddance. Aladdin: [singing] I'm eventually getting married! [ Sighing ]Gee, I'm gonna miss them too. It's showtime! Aristocrats no longer exist, or at least theyre not called aristocrats. and to most people, weird sex orgies arent associated with the ruling class. Hold on, Kyle. Poppycock, man! Duchess: Please, girls. You take this position. Georges Hautecourt:Adelaide,what's that music? Although the talent agent initially brushes them off as too 'cutesy', he is eventually persuaded to allow them to show him their act. Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. If I said "magic carpet," okay? So they're all f***ing each other right. Thief #1: [sings] Have lots of grubs to share! Edgar opens the door. Backtrack a little. Kittens? I'll see ya down stream. Oh, oh--Oh, Uncle Waldo,you're just too much. How did they develop this act! O'Malley: How 'bout youand me, Duchess? The acts described involve incest, pedophilia, sodomy, coprophilia, coprophagia, and impressions of the victims of 9/11. Please? [Chuckling][Giggling, Groaning]Mm-mm. Duchess: No poetry to cover the situation,Monsieur O'Malley? Naturellement! She'd always say that we'rethe greatest treasure she could own. O'Malley: Oh! In that sense, its the ideal joke for a comedy documentary. [offscreen]I've learned to live with 'em. How did they develop this act? Brian Cummings: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". Duchess: Well, darlings, l--I just don't know. Duchess: Now, now, Toulouse. [onscreen]Tell him O'Malley sent youand you won't have a bit of trouble. Uh, Iwassent here for help by a cat. Maybe you fellon your head. WebThe Aristocats! Well, that's easy for, uh,for what's-his-name to say. Napoleon: Ow, that's me! Andy Richter: And they eat the poop off the floor. Marie:[offscreen]Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey! O'Malley! [offscreen]Huh, and those kids. Look at this! Amelia: Sir. Duchess: Now, now, my darling. Duchess: Oh, c'est tres jolie,monsieur. Title of infamous joke without a punchline. I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. Quick, kittens! Uh, not exactlyyour type, Duchess. Then he rips off her underwear and he takes some of her pubes with it. Breakfast, a la carte. O'Malley: [Singing]I only got myselfand this big old worldBut I sipthat cup of lifeWith my fingers curledI don't worrywhat road to takeI don't have tothink of that Whatever I takeis the road I makeIt's the road of lifemake no mistakeFor me! Let's be nice to our new friends. O'Malley: Keep your head up, Marie! Why, your eyes are like sapphires,sparkling so bright. You know. [Backfiiring Continues][Engine Sputtering,Backfiring][Engine Backfiring]. Mark Elliott: The story of one extraordinary human being. And so, you see,we can't leave her alone. "Roquefort". Aristocats are never found in alley So much likeour own dear England. O'Malley: "Basted"? And the talent agent says, What do you call yourselves? And the father sticks his chest out and goes, The Aristocrats. "And basted in[ Sniffles ]white wine." Lafayette: Oh, I get blamedfor everything. Which pets possessthe longest pedigree? My complimentsto the chef. He's got nine lives. I, me, after-- No. My own penthouse pad. Napoleon: You can just be replaced,you know. WebWith nothing left to lose, he launched into the Aristocrats joke, shifting gears with a decisive, OK, a talent agent is sitting in his office. He goes on for nine minutes and 50 [looks under the sheet of his doodle pad] Umone minor note here. Lafayette: [offscreen;chuckling]This time, I get the tender part. And other poems by Maya Angelou. I thought he'd never leave! Georges Hautecourt: And how we celebrated your success! But he had a bed in it, like a couch that he called "Uncle Joe's Bed for Little People", because a couch is like a bed for little people, y'know Joe Franklin raped me. Edgar Balthazar: Morning, Frou-Frou,my pretty steed. Good. Hmm? Then the son lays down on the floor and opens his mouth, and the mother tears off tear-away pants, squats down over his face and starts shitting all over him. Back off, girls. Abigail: Mr. O'Malley, I think youshould be the rear end. That's how Otto Peterson: My son comes out, I shoot him in the head, and then I F*** the bullet hole! Now don't be frightened. [Grunting]Lafayette. [ Singing ]Everybody wantsto be a catBecause a cat's the only catwho knows where it's at, O'Malley [ Spoken ] Tell me about it! O'Malley: Duchess and kittens in trouble? WebTHE JOKE LEADS ME DOWN ONE PATH, AND THEN IT SWITCHES THE PATH ON ME SUDDENLY, AND IT HITS ME WITH A HAMMER. Wait for me! [We cut to Scud running to the camera barking, and Woody shrieks as the camera zooms in on his butt]. Isn't she, Duchess? Not bad,eh, Frou-Frou old girl? Edgar Balthazar:You came back? And we were all ridingand bouncing along--. I lie on a chaise lounge, naked, reading sonnets from Shakespeare, and my third sister, she makes a painting very similar to Decroix's 'The Girl'." But right now it's time we concerned ourselveswith self-improvement. Edgar Balthazar: Oh, another ringer, sir. Ooh. Fisherman's luck. His name is O'Toole. I remember that Ifainted. Georges Hautecourt:[Chuckles] Of course. Now that leavesMr. O'Malley. O'Malley:Yeah. Aristocrats Joke Text. Mac:[offscreen]Yup, and she goesall the way to Timbuktu. He told me justto mention his name. Lafayette [offscreen]I got him, I got him, I got him! ', Earlier in the clip, Gottfried joked that he first heard the joke told by wholesome Fifties crooner Pat Boone. That's pure O'Malley, baby. Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. Aristocats[ Singing ln French ]. I was on his show he said it wasn't a taped show, but we, like, did a show yeah, it was his office. O'Malley: [Chuckles]Now that's quite a family. Cassim: You don't stand a chance against the King of Thieves. Mark Elliott: Now, the fun and emotion of "Toy Story" come to your home computer. They'll be gone. Chorus: [sings] Winnie the Pooh. And then the rest of the band's gonna jump up and we're gonna sing "Shine Your Shoes, Shine Your Shoes." Scat Cat: Likewise, Duchess. Duchess: Marie! First,to make the magic begin,you wiggleyour noseand tickleyour chin. It's a mother, father, their son and daughter, and a little baby. O'Malley: Trouble? Then, at the endof their life span,my entire estatewill revert to Edgar. Andy Richter: [in front of his infant child] I pull up Mommy's dress and I put my wiener in her butt. Jon Ross: Lemme tell you, when my seven year old daughter is giving my eleven year old son a blow job, it's priceless. Duchess? [The Walt Disney Masterpiece Collection logo appears]. [offscreen]Toulouse? Lafayette:Oh, but Napoleon, we done bitsix tires today. It probes the darkest, sickest places of the comedian. Call the cops! Another cat slides a hook under the harness. Duchess: Perhaps! O'Malley: It sure was,and what a finale. Doug Stanhope: So it's finally just a whole prolapsed rectum. He bit my finger! Berlioz:[offscreen]Aw, shut up, Toulouse. Frogs: [singing] Needeep, croak, ribbit, croak, needeep. the father shakes his head, no, no. For other uses, see, "Dirty Jokes, Tasteless, Jokes, Ethnic Jokes", "Diving Deep Into the Dirtiest Joke Ever in 'The Aristocrats', "After a 9/11 Joke Bombed, Gilbert Gottfried Told the Dirtiest Joke in Comedy", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Aristocrats&oldid=1135068379, Short description is different from Wikidata, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 22 January 2023, at 12:47. Yeah! (Laughter) That joke's been "around." Oh, perish the thought. Blow [offscreen] some of that sweet stuff my way. Hold on. Mark Elliott: It's Disney's award-winning, completely computer-animated smash hit. Oh. Kittens! Someday, we might meeta tough alley cat. [onscreen]Down underneath here. How are you doing that? Who do you want me to sue, eh? The alley cats attack Edgar], [Roquefort spins the lock and it opens. Napoleon: No, no. Frou-Frou: Hurry, Roquefort. Berlioz:We were just practicingbiting and clawing. Hiya, chicks. It probes the darkest, sickest places of the Buzz Lightyear: [Presses the red circle button again and closes his wings] Thank you. [to Roquefort] Strike one. Rita Rudner: The people are abusing each other. [Laughing]Aren't you proud of me? Edgar Balthazar: Whoa, Frou-Frou, whoa. Are you sure we can'tget home tonight? Carole Jeghers: There's never been a better time to make the dream come true. [after Wendy Liebman describes a normal family act]. O'Malley: Hey there, bud! Now, Marie's the caboose. Berlioz: I'm coming, Mama. That this one rudimentary joke could be done so many different ways and in different styles. Young cat. After the performance, the talent agent asks them just what the hell their act was supposed to be, to which they respond, "The Aristocrats!" Marie: Ooh, that would be wonderful, sir! [O'Malley pounces. Oh, it just isn't fair! Roquefort: Must keep still. I'll get flat feet. Bonsoir! The 200 Greatest Singers of All Time Roquefort:[ Breathing Hard ]No trouble, he said. Toulouse: Don't worry, mama, we will. The 100 Best Albums of 2022, But thats a whole other story, he deadpanned. I love 'em. Berlioz: Look, guys! Hey! The Aristocats! Yes. The Aristocrats Joke Script. Mm, ooh, oh, heh. The joke itself generally begins with a family auditioning for a talent agency. And aristocatic flair in what they do and what they say. Yeah. Georges Hautecourt: [ Laughing ]That bird cage? It will come later. [offscreen]Swing on down here, Daddy. (2x). O'Malley: Well, some humansare like that, Duchess. [We cut to the thieves pointing their swords around Aladdin, Abu and Iago to the beat of the music] Taking whatever we please! Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Now on video for a very limited time! Everything is going to be all right. Get out! Clickety. Now [Silent clips of "Aladdin 3" are shown, starting with Aladdin riding Magic Carpet, and Genie flying next to him as they enter Agrabah] Walt Disney Pictures invites you to a celebration. Berlioz: Andyou said we're gonnaride on your magic carpet. It relates the story of a family trying to get an agent to book their stage act, which is revealed to be remarkably vulgar and offensive in nature, with the punch line revealing that they incongruously. Marie: Ladies do not start fights, Buster, but they can finish them. They start going down on each other all different kinds of combinations, there's 69, there's 29, cause the kids are young, there's 9. Amelia: Yes, that's a question. The 2005 film The Aristocrats documented the history of the joke, which was so filthy that comedians traditionally told it backstage at clubs rather than in the spotlight. Love it. Alright? Don't fuss over me. And the talent agent says, "Sorry, we don't sign family acts. O'Malley: Duchess, If I can live with you, will you marry me? They're old buddiesand they're real swingers. The Aristocrats. [ Hiccups ]. I like Uncle Waldo. That ain't. [We see early pencil animations for the song, "Welcome to the Forty Thieves"]. [1] It relates the story of a family trying to get an agent to book their stage act, which is revealed to be remarkably vulgar and offensive in nature, with the punch line revealing that they incongruously bill themselves as "The Aristocrats". [ Mumbling ]. Will you hold on, please. I'll think of a way. Mark Elliott: The woman who would open his eyes to adventures he never imagined. Genie: [sings] They're eventually getting married! Watch your mouth. Ooh, ooh, ooh! O'Malley: Well, now, uh--What I meant-- You see, l--. And then my daughter comes on stage. [The black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video and Pixar Animation Studios logos appear]. Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Pictures presents it's all-new 37th animated motion picture. ", T. Sean Shannon: "Well, you can't say that.". He rips off his wife's bra. And I always throw in that. Oh, sorry, my dear. [Screen fades to reveal more clips] Aladdin and Jasmine's dreams are eventually coming true. He takes the tampon and throws it at the window and it sticks. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet. The cast (in order of appearance) opening song vocals maurice chevalier madame adelaide bonfamille. Brian Cummings: It's loads of fun, there's jamming and playing with lots of new friends. Let's see. Genghis Kahn, for god sakes. Boy: We drive and drive and drive some more. It looks like a serated sea snake. Berlioz: Hey, do you really havea magic carpet, Monsieur O'Malleysir? It's awful and some blood starts dripping down her leg. We're gonnafly after all! Roquefort:Duchess! Live all the adventure of the movie and more. [Reading]"Prime Country Goose a la Provencal. " And, uh, let's see. You're too much. She's a real sexy nine-year-old. Mr. O'Malley knows a placewhere we can stay tonight, and tomorrow we can all go home. What is the Jawi script exactly and why did they stop using it in from www.quora.com. I had the most horribledream about them. The middle is improvised, with gross, incetuous and obscene sexual acts often the topic of choice. 0:55. O'Malley:Wellguess they won'tneed me any more. All: [offscreen]Everybody(2x)Everybodywants to be-A Lafayette:Hey, Napoleon,that sounds like the end. The male gamete, or sperm, and the female gamete, the egg or ovum, meet in the female's reproductive system. Frogs: [singing] There's so much to say, but we have all day. Duchess: Edgar did thisto us? Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Now, tut-tut, Edgar. I wouldlike to see your pad,and meet your friend Scat Cat. Marie: But, mama, do wehave sparklingsapphire eyes that dazzle too? Duches: [offscreen]Berlioz, now don't be rude. Very poetic. "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era. [offscreen]His eyes are too close together. In the South Park version, Cartman tells the other boys the joke his grandfather told him while at the school bus stop. [Hissing]. Abigail: Oh, indeed, yes, sis. O'Malley:[offscreen]All right. O'Malley: Well, humans don't really worrytoo much about their pets. with the starsas our guide. Now what's the hang-up,your ladyship? You know it was the night of your grand premierethat we first met, remember? Duchess: Oh, I'm so sorry, but,well, we just couldn't. Scat Cat: [ Chuckling ] Say! Well, there it is. Duchess:No, not at all. The Magic Oracle: Follow the trail of the Forty Thieves. [Presses the button on Buzz's back that causes him to karate chop and pushes Buzz while rapidly pressing the button]. Absolutely. The Aristocrats is a fascinating essay on the nature of stand-up. [Hugo keeps spitting as Victor now comes to life]. Duchess: Oh, no, no, no. You never hear a physicist going, "It's a muon, you c*nt!". Not one single clue at all. We're just a pairof sentimental old fools. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! Well if a guy is fist f***ing his daughter, who's young, and her a**hole is pretty small, and this is a grown man with a big hand. The fun begins now on video! Clickety-clickety-clickety. The Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. What happenedto your lovely tail feathers? You know, this isthe low-rent district, remember? [Grunting]. And then the guy goes, "The Aristocrats." Mussolini. Heel, roll over, play dead! Amelia: Abigail, we were bornwith flat feet. Now, dear, you goto the piano and-- Run a long. (onscreen)Five! Roquefort: Ahem! It really is muchtoo heavy for you, Madame. And your music is so--so different,so exciting. Georges Hautecourt: Yes, yes! As I'm singing, "What'll I Have That I Don't Mario Cantone: Where'd that note go? Which pets are blessed withthe fairest forms and faces? Lafayette: Well, where'smy beddie-bye basket!? O'Malley: Oh, thank you. Amelia: No! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: I've asked you to come hereona very importantlegal matter. Abigail: Gracious me. Lafayette:How come you always grabthe tender part for yourself, man? Milkman:Sapristi! Lafayette: I still say it wasa little old cricket bug. O'Malley:Well, girls, see ya around. [ Grunting ]Go away! [offscreen]Ah. Victor: Well, that's what you get for sleeping with your mouth open. Duchess! [onscreen]Heave-ho! I'm the only cat of my kind. 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